Painting is Magic
but painting is really hard
I reread the first line 12 years after Isabelle and Oliver were born and realized that I still believe it so I started painting again. The second line is really true. Just making any mark on a surface is probably the easiest thing any living being can do. But painting w intention and contents is really hard. Whether it is 12 years or 3000 miles later, painting is just super hard. I would say that it is just a series of tests to determine whether the highest intention can be organized spatially on a surface. As always the journey is all it is about like anything that is hard that one chooses to do. There are no shortcuts as it would be up to you to make it harder or easier. That is freedom isn't it? No one can walk the path except you even if the temptation now is to let AI to just do it w a push of a button. But that would be missing the point. Do you want 100% of the benefits or only 1%? Up to you. At the end of the day it is only about you and no one else. You choose. No one will judge you or care. Just you alone. Just like every other night and morning. You sleep alone and you wake up alone. In terms of process if you want to speak English you can't be using French grammars you have to use English grammars to be able to communicate w other English speakers. Same thing w re to organizing spatial intention on a flat surface. Do you want to do 100% in order to achieve 100% of the benefits? It is that simple. The objective is clear. You decide if you want it or not.
Why am I writing all of this down?
I told Isabelle to burn all my paintings after I die so just in case she and Oliver would be curious there would be something they could read to explain re my intention. Plus this is part of my current making process.
There are no secrets here.
If Painting is about searching for the REAL then it starts w the realness of the motivation as well.
My journey started when I first climbed on to Anh Tuan ship.
It continues as I am now trying to set up my studio to paint again after 3000 mile relocation.
What is the difference between now and then? Then I just closed my eyes and told myself that it wasn't real but now my eyes are wide open to search for the real.
I am blessed w this journey just like everyone else who should be w theirs
The agency that we feel is what no one can take it away from us. Not even AI. So long as there are thoughts and consciousness and the desire to feel what you want to see.
I am writing as if I am speaking to a friend who is not here. I just saw and connected w friends that exceeded time and space. I have come to accept that not all your friends are going to always be w you. Just their spirit would be enough which was the very thing that had established the friendship in the first place.
I just love it that I could exceed a 40 years time gap in an instance. It's a gift I think.
No I am not interested in immortality which is an illusion but I am after the eternal. The thing that is real that will last forever w meaning purpose and joy. No one can give that to you except you yourself. Everything else would be the illusion that explains the human suffering condition.
Hence I search for the real that would last eternally within the borders of the pictorial plane. It's that simple. Not that complicated. But a universe awaits.
One night at Amherst I climbed through the window of my sculpture studio. So depressed because I couldn't figure out why I was so attracted to the figure from the first minute I walked into the studio as an 18 years old. I laid down every pieces that I had done from that day 1 and realized that I had improved. No other studies would give me such realness of an affirmation. A piece of sculpture is as physically real as can be whereas a painting is metaphysically real. Yes I have been blessed w everything in between. Yes DaDaists and Surrealists are right. There are no accident w the subconsciousness. Everything has its place in the order of things. just need the intention to start. We don't know what we don't know. There is a logic to the madness.
Is it faith? that is why a journey is always about a series of tests that one must pass. From the small to the large. From the accidental to the intentional. From the randomness to the organized. The real reveals itself at the end. You just have to be ready to receive it. It is a continuous process. That is why it is eternal.
So this is my WHY. Why I paint. If we don't know the why then you don't know the what, how and where.
The sun is finally out. I just want to get in the convy and get on to the 101 to see and feel my endless skies and eternally beating waves of the ocean water and my in-out breaths. This is now my WHAT.
My HOW awaits
My WHERE is exactly where I am at now.
Just read your thought of art journey.
It’s a path of known and unknown, seen and unseen that makes us contemplate with our lives toward the end. We all need to pursue it alone but we’re moving forward with the collective energy together!